🐟︎ My zosan headcanons 🐟︎
(spoilers until the end of Wano)
Those will mostly be Sanji headcanons because well, I love him, what can I say.
That being said, let's dive into it!

I'll begin by stating the obvious: Zoro and Sanji constantly exist in each other’s space. They fight continuously, and one could argue that they’re searching for each other in a way, but that none of them are comfortable enough with love and relationships, so their quest for each other’s attention deviates to bickering and fights. Fighting is something they’re good at, and it becomes a way for them to connect without having to question how they feel deep down.

It has always been like that with them, dancing around each other carefully, never passing the threshold of more. Memories shrouded under fights, insults and blows.

Why is it so difficult for them to accept that all of this matters to them, way more than they dare to think about?
Sanji's past prevents him from allowing himself to want, to love earnestly. He's faced so many abuses he believes that he is not worthy of love, or even anything really. That he's only good at making himself useful.
He'd even dismissed his dreams before meeting the crew, and especially before meeting Zoro: a man who thinks fighting for his dreams is worth everything, even death itself. I think Sanji has been deeply moved by seeing Zoro's fight with Mihawk. This for me is an event that began to shatter his point of view: one can have big dreams, dreams that others may find silly or childish, and they could take pride in them and even be ready to die for those dreams.

Zoro appears so confident, and i believe Sanji wants to bask in this confidence. To me, constantly challenging Zoro feels like proving he can rise to his level on this matter, that he is also worthy of having dreams in a way, likes someone who wants to get closer to the sun itself.

I think the difference between them is poignant when they face Kuma in Thriller Bark : Zoro is ready to die for his dreams and the ones of his crew, while Sanji is ready to die despite them, toss them aside like they were nothing. And Zoro is angry at him for valuing his life so little, because he’s always taken Sanji’s dream seriously. Sanji's ready to throw away everything, because he thinks he doesn't matter, and Zoro can't let that happen, because he cares. He always has.

I believe Sanji's been denied happines for so long, he doesn't know how to be vulnerable enough to admit he wants or dreams of anything, much less he loves someone.
Because that would be admitting he wants to be loved, and i believe he profundly thinks he's unlovable.

Sure, he claims he loves every women his eyes gaze upon, but he never takes the time to speak to them properly, to get to know them, and especially not to be known in return. He likes what he projects onto them, so that they can do the same and plaster whatever fantasy they have about him, but they never meet the real vulnerable Sanji. The Sanji that dreams, the Sanji that gets angry, the Sanji that feels.

This is particularly obvious when he agreed to his wedding with Pudding, it was because it's what was expected of him, because it's what he's supposed to want.
He's focused on fulfilling his duty as a member of the Vinsmoke Dynasty because he thinks he's a liability. His fight with Luffy is motivated by the terrible fact that he believes he is not even worth saving. So he does what he knows how to do and tries to please Pudding, just as he's focused on pleasing the crew, on taking care of them.

It's also the only way he remembers loving someone and feeling loved in return, because it's what he used to do for his mother, the first and almost only person (before he met Zeff that is) who'd shown him he was worthy of anything. And speaking of his relationship with Zeff, he feels deeply indebted towards him, even more so because he thinks his miserable life was not worth the sacrifice.

He cares deeply but he never allows anyone to return the favor, he never allows anyone to please him, to see him for who he is, because he thinks he does not deserve it. So he does the only thing he thinks he's good at, he becomes useful and takes care of them.

But Zoro doesn't want to be taken care of.

He's been alone for a long time too, and his way of dealing with it is being self-sufficient, never relying on anyone else.

I believes that irritates Sanji as much as it frees him: he's allowed to be himself, to tease, to fight. Each other and together.
For when it comes to fighting enemies, Zoro allows Sanji to help. Because he aknowledges him, he recognizes his strenght, where Sanji only sees his own flaws, despite how much he likes to brag. They start fighting together back in Arlong Park, finding a rythm effortlessly, like it’s always been this way, having each other's back. He thinks Sanji is not only a worthy opponent, but a worthy partner, and together, they’re unstoppable.

To me, Sanji is also comfortable around Zoro because he's deeply afraid of himself, of the unlovable parts of him, and he knows Zoro is strong enough to handle that. That's why he's the one he chose to take care of him in case the situation goes sour in Wano. Of course he asks Zoro to kill him: if you believe your death is unevitable, it should at least come from the blade of someone you trust. Someone you respect, who has shown multiple times that they respect and value you too. Sanji hates relying on people and yet, when it matters the most, when he needs to ask the unthinkable, he asks Zoro. Sure, one could argue Zoro's the most logical choice, but if you were to die, wouldn't you want the last thing you see to be the face of someone you love, even if you were to perish by their hand?

Sanji wouldn’t admit something like that to himself, not for a long time at least.

I think Zoro has an easier time accepting his feelings, even if he’s clumsy and has too much pride to clearly show them. I believe he immediately felt a kinship with Sanji, seeing him defend his food at the Baratie, ready to fight for his principles. Zoro respects others’ principles and values, as he religiously follows his own he admires others who do so too. And he respects the care people put in preparing food, you can tell by the way he acts at Shells Town.

I believe Zoro’s been observing Sanji from a long time now, seeing him operate alone, rising before everyone on the ship to feed them properly, watching them as they get sick or hurt, silently taking care of everyone, staying in the shadow of his own projected self.

And I know Zoro sees past through that. I think he wants to show that he cares too, but he also has his wounds and doesn’t know how to convey his feelings properly. Not because he’s scared of rejection like Sanji, but because he doesn’t want to intrude. He has his own battles to fight and he knows everyone does too, and that sometimes they need more time to heal before one can accept others into their lives.

Or maybe I’m just a hopeless yaoi enjoyer that wants to see romance where there’s only camaraderie, who knows ? As they say, there is yaoi everywhere, for those with eyes to see.
Either way, thank you for reading!


Here are some fanfics recs if you're interested:

Moment of Labour - seaglassradius (Complete)
Not an easy read, but an exquisitely beautiful one. An AU fantasy tale where Zoro, the God of War, tasks Nami to kill someone for him. The writing is very poetic, and the end of the story left me broken in the best of way.

The Ballad of the Sword and Shield - oddball (In progress)
This story is just at its beginning for now, but I think it's a promising read! The author retells some important moments in the saga through a zosan reinterpretation.

Mettle - Nagetrum (Complete)
(18+) This one is my favorite, it is both hilarious and wholesome, and I love the author's take on the characters. In this modern college AU, Sanji is ready to fight Zoro over a girl and plans to confront him. Of course, misunderstandings and chaos ensue. The strawhats are all very well depicted, and the romance feels super natural and relatable.

Incredible Work Ethic - wisterykey (In progress)
(18+) The Strawhats are a spies/hitmen agency: Zoro and Sanji get partnered up for an undercover mission and have to act as rich husbands on a cruise to retrieve informations and eliminate an enemy. The set-up is crazy but this fanfic is so so entertaining! I can't wait for the rest to be published.

LOVE ME - Angelgrowingwings (Complete)
(18+) A lovely fem!zosan slow burn set in a modern college AU about two roommates falling in love, with great character development (and excellent yuri smut, especially if you're into top sanji)!

Filthy - HearSomeEvil (Complete)
(18+) Basically a short self-indulgent porn without plot fanfic (you've been warned!), but it's a western AU so heh, it's fun.

Credits: some of these illustrations have been sitting in my folders for years so I was unable to find their proper source. A lot of the images are from Landeg, one is by s-u-w-i, one is by schweeps, one is by mr. jieshisu, one is by ato-dato, one is by bageltopia, one is by Blue_sel, one is by amazingeurus, and one is by abreca. Sorry for everyone I didn't find.